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Letter "H" » Humor
«Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'»
Author: Charles M. Schulz
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About:
Funny,
Humor,
Lies,
Questioning,
Wisdom
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Keywords:
ask,
awake,
awaked,
awakes,
awaking,
gone,
lie,
Night,
says,
This Is,
voice
«Quick note here: if this crush-slash-swooning stuff is hard for you to stomach, if you?ve never had a similar experience, then you should come to grips with the fact that you?ve got a TV dinner for a heart and might want to consider climbing inside a microwave and turning it on high for at least an hour, which if you do consider only goes to show what kind of idiot you truly are because microwaves are way too small for anyone, let alone you, to climb into.»
Author: Mark Danielewski
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About:
Humor,
Love
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Keywords:
climbing,
come to grips,
crush,
grips,
let alone,
microwave,
similar,
slash,
slashed,
slashes,
small stuff,
swoon,
swooned,
swooning,
swoons,
TV dinner,
TV show,
TV shows
«See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.»
Author: Robin Williams
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About:
Comedy,
Funny,
God,
Humor
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Keywords:
at a time,
blood,
brain,
one at a time,
One Blood,
penis,
penises,
run,
running time
«The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes.»
«There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.»
«There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.»
«The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentist?s office.»
«One never needs their humor as much a when they argue with a fool.»
«Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?»
«There are none more abusive to others than they that lie most open to it themselves; but the humor goes round, and he that laughs at me today will have somebody to laugh at him tomorrow»