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It is sometimes difficult to be inspired when trying to write a persuasive essay, book report or thoughtful research paper. Often of times, it is hard to find words that best describe your ideas. VIPessays now provides a database of over 150,000 quotations and proverbs from the famous inventors, philosophers, sportsmen, artists, celebrities, business people, and authors that are aimed to enrich and strengthen your essay, term paper, book report, thesis or research paper.

Try our free search of constantly updated quotations and proverbs database.

QuotationsAuthorsTopicsKeywords
Browse Topics: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
(Click a letter to view the topics)
Letter "F" » Funny
«I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.»
«I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.»
«All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.»
«I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...»
Author: Mitch Hedberg (Comedian) | About: Comedy, Funny | Keywords: submarine, submarines
«I used to have a sign over my computer that read OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW TRICKS, but lately I sometimes ask myself how many more new tricks I want to learn. Wouldn?t it be easier just to be outdated?»
Author: Ram Dass | About: Ageing, Funny
«I was raised in the West. The West of texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.»
«If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.»
Author: Bob Hope (Actor, Comedian) | About: Funny, God, Golf, Weather
«I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!»
«I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg (Comedian) | About: Funny | Keywords: combination, soccer
«I would rather have an inferiority complex and be pleasantly surprised, than have a superiority complex and be rudely awakened.»

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