«Their comes a moment when you have to stop revving up the car and shove it into gear.»

«PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains. --Rev. Dr. Mucker(in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman)Cold pie is a detestable American comestible. That's why I'm done --or undone -- So far from that dear London.(from the headstone of a British nobleman in Kalamazoo)»

«LL.D. Letters indicating the degree _Legumptionorum Doctor_, one learned in laws, gifted with legal gumption. Some suspicion is cast upon this derivation by the fact that the title was formerly _LL.d._, and conferred only upon gentlemen distinguished for their wealth. At the date of this writing Columbia University is considering the expediency of making another degree for clergymen, in place of the old D.D. --_Damnator Diaboli_. The new honor will be known as _Sanctorum Custus_, and written _$$c_. The name of the Rev. John Satan has been suggested as a suitable recipient by a lover of consistency, who points out that Professor Harry Thurston Peck has long enjoyed the advantage of a degree.»

«I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles.»