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Letter "W" » W. C. Fields Quotes
«I'll bend effort to win and I come from a long line of effort-benders.»
«Go back to reform school, you little nose-picker!»
«What is the presidency but a glorified business -- or, at least, a fine racket.»
«Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.»
«Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -- to make people laugh.»
«A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.»
«Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.»
«I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.»
«My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?»
«Stop following me, are you following me? That'll get you twelve years at Leavenworth, or eleven years at twelveworth, or five and ten at Woolworth's.»