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It is sometimes difficult to be inspired when trying to write a persuasive essay, book report or thoughtful research paper. Often of times, it is hard to find words that best describe your ideas. VIPessays now provides a database of over 150,000 quotations and proverbs from the famous inventors, philosophers, sportsmen, artists, celebrities, business people, and authors that are aimed to enrich and strengthen your essay, term paper, book report, thesis or research paper.

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Letter "M" » Mitch Hedberg Quotes
«Sometimes I make some money doin' comedy. I made $3000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash, so I had $3000 in my front pocket. That was a bad situation, because then I start to buy ridulous sh**. Like, I bought a snake-bite emergency repair kit. Then I said to my friends, 'Don't even worry about snakes anymore.' Then my friend stepped on a worm, I said, 'Lay down.' Snake bite emergency repair kit... is a body bag.»
«My roommate said, 'I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?' It's like some weird-a** quiz, where he reveals the answer first.»
«Onions make me sad, a lot of people don't realize that. When I'm cutting onions, I'm sad. Because the plight of onions, it's sad. But people don't realize I'm actually crying - they think I'm just reacting.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg (Comedian) | About: Sadness
«I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil - and the devil was dill.»
«You can't please all the people all the time, and last night all those people were at my show.»
«I mumble a lot off-stage, I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend and I say something, he won't hear me, he'll say 'What?'. So I'll say it again, but once again he doesn't hear me, so he says 'What?'. But really it's just some insignificant sh*t that I'm saying, but now I'm yelling, 'That tree is far away.'»
Author: Mitch Hedberg (Comedian) | About: Friends, Talking
«My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever... Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want 'em to. I'm like, 'Hey, hold on fellas - Let me hold one of you.'»
«One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit**, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera. What's it look like?'»
Author: Mitch Hedberg (Comedian) | About: Photography
«I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first, to see if she would read that too.»
«I think Bigfoot is blurry - that's the problem. It's not the photographers' fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra-scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roamin' the countryside. 'Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here.'»

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