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Letter "J" » Jay Leno Quotes
«Saddam Hussein has told his people that U.S. troops will commit suicide when they get to the gates of Baghdad. That's when you know you have a bad army, when your only hope for victory is that the enemy's troops kill themselves.»
«George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out because it clears his mind. Sometimes just a little too much.»
«NBC fired pinhead Peter Arnett. He gave an interview on Iraqi television criticizing the U.S. military and saying our battle plan was all wrong. The good news is, after he said that, today he was given an honorary Oscar.»
«Marriage is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.»
«A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400.»
«You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.»
«Newsweek reported that 87 Congressman are currently having affairs. In fact, that is why they have roll call ever morning, to see who is back from the motel. Last call Kennedy! I know these guys like to poll their constituents but this is ridiculous.»
«Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free.»