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Letter "J" » Jack Handy Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.»
«I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled up tobacco leaves»
«I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
bet, culture, legend, recur, recurring, The Legend, The Story, throughout
«Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.»
«I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
appointed, appointing, appoints, shrank, shrink, shrinks, shrink from, shrunk, The State
«In some places it's known as a tornado. In others, a cyclone. And in still others, the Idiot's Merry-go-round. But around here they'll always be known as screw-boys.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
boys, cyclone, idiot, known as, merry-go-round, merry, Others The, round, screw, The Idiot, tornado, tornadoes
«Anybody who has an identity problem had better wise up and get with the program!»
«Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.»
«If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness»
«I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
administrator, administrators, bushes, college, college student, encourage, sniff, sniffed, sniffing, sniffs, students, territories, territory, urinate, urinating, walls
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