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Letter "G" » George Carlin Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.»
Author: George Carlin
(Actor, Author, Comedian)
| About:
Doctors
| Keywords:
building, doctor, locate, located, locates, locating, noticed, professional, recently, right away, The Professional
«If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball»
«I'm also tired of hearing about innocent victims; this is an outmoded idea. There are no innocent victims. If you're born on this world you're guilt, period, f*ck you, end of report, next case. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.»
«I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes»
«Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror»
«I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it»
Author: George Carlin
(Actor, Author, Comedian)
| About:
Suicide
| Keywords:
Commit Suicide, depended
«Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws (at most an occasional visit to the cemetery)»
Author: George Carlin
(Actor, Author, Comedian)
| Keywords:
at most, cemeteries, cemetery, holidays, occasional, orphan, orphaned, visit
«When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons»
«I don't vote. Two reasons. First of all it's meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long time ago. The shit they shovel around every 4 years *pfff* doesn't mean a fucking thing. Secondly, I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around ? they say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain', but where's the logic in that? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who in fact did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with.»
«Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big.»
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