Lies my teacher told me At some point during the lengthy, drug-induced coma that I sometimes refer to as "my high school years," I briefly regained consciousness and found myself eye-to-eye with what appeared to be a three-headed, English teaching dwarf. Before I could fall back into my customary stupor I realized that this evil shrieking dwarf would say anything to trick me into wasting what was left of my mind with books and reading …showed first 75 words of 531 total…

…showed last 75 words of 531 total…her instead of you. Do yourself a favor; and put down this essay and go watch some television. Reading is addictive, and in some cases it leads to things like writing. Keep turning those pages and before you know it, you'll be hunched over a keyboard somewhere, trying to finish and article while some pain-in-the-neck editor is screaming that he needed it half an hour ago. And that, is a fate far worse than death